Well I can tell you one thing- Rob Lourens may think you're bitter, but I know you're not bitter. I was raised with Sbuckian values and an unshakable faith in Starbuck and its policies, and I understand as much as or more than anyone that Starbuck is a vibrant community full of happy, not bitter, usually well-intentioned folk.
I cannot offer you political experience, but did I mention how hip I was? Example - see my campaign poster? Most political candidates would be humiliated if pictures surfaced of them dressed as members of the opposite sex... old man Rob Lourens certainly would. But me and Rudy Guiliani are different. I feel that this picture says a lot about me... but not too much. I know how to party.
This newcomer Rob Lourens may make all kinds of fancy claims about being young and tolerant, but does he walk the walk? Recently, Rob Lourens violently destroyed a Rubik's cube because its "colors were wrong." How does Rob feel about your colors? I have served in this position for nearly nine months already. Have I ever wronged you? Yeah, that's what I thought. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Rob's secretariocracy has been a brutal and traumatic time in the history of Starbuck, but after this nine month period of labor, the ballot box will, with your vote, give birth to A New Kind Of Politician. But my umbilical cord is a tie to the constituency that I will never cut. Fans, followers, adherents, the bottom line is that I, Rob Lourens, will represent your interests.
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